Last Day Before Christmas Break

Kids are always a little wonky on party days--the excitement of the break and the holidays is in the air and everybody is feeling it! And it's usually a fun day in speech.

During my social group today we were talking about unexpected behaviors and replacement behaviors. For instance, how else can we handle our anger without hitting?

To which first grader Haley replies, "Sometimes I get mad at my sister Isabella because she takes things that aren't hers and my mom doesn't get mad at her. And she's not cute. But Suzie is. Suzie is cute. Not Isabella though."


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Playing a game of Apples to Apples with my 2nd graders:

Green Apple word: stinky

Red Apple Card word/explanation: "owls. because they don't take showers and they just sit there and get all nasty and stuff."

Frog in My Throat

I recently had a cold and lost my voice. I'm still trying to recover it.

Today, one of my 2nd grade fluency boys asked me, "um, do you have a sore throat? or is something wrong with your voice box?"

In another group, a 2nd grader said to me, "What happened? Do you have a frog in your throat?" "Yes, I do have a frog in my throat."

"A real frog?" says Alex.

"No, not a real frog."

"Well, why did he say you have a frog in your throat?"

"It's just an expression. Something we say when our voice sounds scratchy."

"Well, I don't get it. Why a frog?"

Thank you, Dr.

I lost my voice yesterday and barely had a voice at work today. When my social skills group came in this morning, one of the 1st grade boys asked me, "what happened to your voice?"

To which a second grader responded (with correct pronunciation), "I think you may have laryngitis."

"Why thank you, Colin. I think you may be right!"

Overheard in a First Grade Group

Haley: I'm not gonna like 10 anymore. I'm gonna like 100 now.

Zoee: Like why? You wanna be 100?

Guess What?

From Haley--1st grader.

Haley: "Hey! Guess what?!"

Me: "what?"

Haley: "Pretty soon pink and purple aren't going to be my favorite colors anymore."

Me: "Oh yeah? What's going to be your new favorite color?"

Haley: "Blue. Light blue."

Marriage = Baby, duh!

Out of the blue, one of my 5th graders said to me, "Are you going to have a baby?"

Curious as to why he asked me that particular question (am I gaining obvious weight or something?!), I asked him, "why do you ask me that question?"

He matter-of-factly replied, "because you got married."

Bang Your Head. . .

Today was definitely one of those days where I wanted to bang my head against the wall by the end of the day.

I don't know if the kids all had too much sugar or I didn't get enough sleep--maybe a combination of both, but by the end of the day, I was at my wit's end.

My 5th graders after lunch were all sorts of giggly and silly (not in a cute way, either).

Following the 5th graders, were my 1st graders. The usually funny bunch. Today, though. . . today, they seemed to have forgotten the "classroom volume" rule, not to mention the "raise your hand" rule.

The final group was an upper grade SDC group. We were working on kitchen vocabulary and were reading a story about baking a cake that included our new vocabulary words. I asked what ingredients were mentioned in the story. The replies: "mixer," "oven," "measuring spoons." Apparently, they didn't know what "ingredients" were, so I explained that ingredients are the things that we put into a mixing bowl so that we can make something else. I also explained that ingredients must be food--something that we can eat. All the while I was explaining what ingredients are, Salvador was stretching his arm up "ooh, ooh, I know one, I know one." So I called on him. And he says. . . ."SPATULA." ugh.

Sit like a lady? Like a what?

Yet another group of 1st graders. . .

Yajaira was wearing her uniform dress today and was in her seat not sitting very lady-like with her little dress riding up inappropriately.

"Yajaira, sit in your seat and keep your legs together when you are wearing a dress. You want to sit like a lady."

Giggles from the troops.

"What's a lady?" someone questions.

"Like a girl," says Zoee.

"Like a woman," giggles Yadira.

"Or like this," Zoee says while she demonstrates sitting up straight with one knee crossed over the other.

"Or a gay man," chimes in Angel.

Not sure of what I heard, I asked him, "like what?"

"Like a gay man," he smiled.

Hmmm. . .now, I'm not really sure I heard what I thought I heard, or if it was something else. And I desperately tried to think of alternate responses. . . but I couldn't come up with anything. Dumbfounded, I quickly continued with the lesson. Man, these kids can sure catch me off-guard! Gotta stay on your toes with 1st graders--never know what they're going to say!

1st graders

The first graders, I'm realizing, really are the funniest without even knowing it!

Taking a step back to last year:
a first grader name Giovanni says to me (in a moderately flamboyant Latino accent), "Joo want me to de-sign a dress for joo?"

"Yes, I would love that," I tell him. A few minutes later, he returns with a picture.

"Ees peenk," he says, "ees dark peek. Joo like?"

"Oh yes, it's beautiful!"

"y der are choose, wis high heels."


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This week alone has been a classic week for first grade conversations. There was a particular, yet unusual topic of conversation that carried over two group sessions: Michael Jackson. Yes, THE MJ. . . hot topic amongst the first graders, I guess.

Right after our group started, Angel shared that he went to a party and listened to Michael Jackson music--he may have even mentioned watching some movie (his speech was difficult to understand). Zoee, in turn, announces that, "Michael Jackson died."

To which Angel replied, "I know, his hair" *gestures that his hair caught fire.*

I tried to explain that Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire a long time ago, and that is not how he died. And without missing a beat, Zoee asks, "How did he die?"

Uh oh. Trapped. "He died because his doctor gave him the wrong medicine."

"Oh," they both said with a nod of confirmation. No more questions. I hope they aren't afraid to go to the dr's now!!

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Next group, same kiddos. We went around the table and I asked everyone what they were going to be for Halloween.

Zoee--"I'm going to be a fairy."

Yadira--"Red Power Ranger"

Angel--"I'm going to be Michael Jackson. . .because I like the way he dances." (this kid really cracks me up!)

Feet

Something funny happened today that reminded me of a classic kindergartener line from last year.

Today, I had to wear running shoes to work. I guess I didn't really have to, but I ran this morning before work and couldn't bear the thought of slipping into heels today and my flats just aren't supportive enough. . . so running shoes it was. Anyway, I went to a classroom to pick up one of my kinders for group. The moment he steps out of the door, he says to me, "I like your shoes," and then proceeds to bend down, give my foot a squeeze and say, "and they're not broken." "Are they supposed to be broken?" I asked. He responded unintelligibly and fortunately we were already at the door of the next student. . .

The foot-touching reminded me of something funny from last year. I was testing a kindergartener and out of the blue, he says, "Can I touch your feet?" I was so taken aback and amused at the same time!! "what? no, you cannot touch my feet. Touching someone else's feet at school is not appropriate." I just couldn't figure out why on earth he wanted to touch my feet!!

What is it with kindergarteners and feet!?

Always/Never

I was working with some first graders today and we were talking about the concepts of "always" and "never." They got it pretty quick and we were having some fun and getting a little silly. "Do monkeys ever fly?" "nooooo, never," they would chant. We would go around the table and everyone would offer something, "Name something you would never play with." I got some pretty outlandish responses: "bananas--never play with bananas," "giraffes--never play with giraffes," "knives--never play with knives," "poop--never play with poop." Yup, she went there--poop. So, there you have it folks, never play with poop!

During another group this morning, also while working on "Always/Never," an outspoken little first grade boy decided to abruptly change the topic by looking under the table and announcing, "I like your high heels."

What's in a Name?

All my life, I've gotten some pretty funny mispronunciations of my last name. Before I got married, my last name was pretty tough for a lot of people (especially when the first sound is not a shared phoneme in English/Spanish and many kids don't even master the sound until around age 8). Honestly, it was tough enough for adults who did know me--no matter how many times I corrected them! For one kindergartner last year, in a period of 30 minutes, I went from "Miss Tomes", to "Miss Stones", and finally to "Mrs. Plums" (??), where it stayed the remainder of the year.

Now that I am married and my last name is pretty common, I figured it would be easy enough for the majority of my kiddos (especially since it is an Hispanic last name). Or not. So far this year, I've gotten "Mrs. Mosquito" (??) and "Mrs. Skimono" (really?!)

Scooch Over!

I'm a bad blogger. I'm new to this, so I can't remember to post anything. Also, I haven't heard any blog-worthy expressions yet this year. . .other than a gross mispronunciation of my name, "What? You changed your name to Mrs. Mosquito?" hahaha, oh these kids.

There is one story that happened during my internship a few years ago that had me laughing for a while.

I was working with a group of three 1st graders (funny how it always seems to be 1st graders!) We were sitting at a kidney-shaped table with me in the middle. Suddenly, Seth, who was sitting in between the other two boys, had this look of disgust on his face. "Ewwwww, Tracer farted," he said. Giggles from Tracer. I wanted to giggle, but held it together and said, "we really don't need to make a big deal out of that. Tracer, say 'excuse me' and we can just keep going with our work." Tracer politely excused himself and within about 30 seconds, Seth pipes up again and says to me with the most serious look and tone, "you might want to scooch over--it really stinks."

Oh, Okay.

So, school is back in session, however I have not begun to see students yet (next week). We are in the process of coordinating schedules and to do so, we often send a note to the teacher with some tentative times and an inquiry as to other pull-out times.

Mrs. A sent her note back with Sasha and another girl. I noticed that Sasha had a new haircut, "I like your new haircut, Sasha," I said. "Thanks," she replied, "I like broccoli and bananas and strawberries, and carrots. They're really good for you. . . "

First Post (EVAH)

So, I'm not a blogger. I really have nothing interesting to say. The posts to follow will not be my words. They will be the words of the kiddos I work with. I hear such gems come out of their mouths. Some are too brilliant to forget, some are funny but are overshadowed by other events or comments. For those reasons, I am compelled to record them this year.

As I have yet to begin therapy this year, I will post with some of the oldies, but goodies I've heard in the past couple of years.

One day, I entered a 1st grade classroom to pick up a student for testing. She is sitting on the opposite side of the room when the teacher calls her and tells her she needs to leave with me. She gets up from her desk, looks at me, and begins to walk in my direction. "oh!" she exclaims, "you have blonde hair like me! Not like these kids," she says as she looks down at the heads of her classmates.

*it should be noted that my school in Southern California has an Hispanic population of approximately 89%